Finally a B.

Gary Lee Driskell passed away on Saturday February 23, 2008 around 8 a.m. Cassie’s mom Denise rushed to wake her as soon as she heard. The arousal was rather unnatural, as it was a Saturday morning and the alarm clock had already been turned off and thrown across the room. Cassie woke to the sound of a calm voice, telling her that she needed to focus because she was drifting in and out of consciousness. Her mom sounded so calm while repeating, “Cassie, something happened, I need to explain it to you. Wake up, focus.” Cassie slowly rose to a sitting up position and began listening to her mom, more than ever before. Her mom began to explain that Gary had passed away suddenly earlier that morning. Cassie had just lost her hero; Gary had taught her so much about choir, worship, and herself. Gary was the Minister of Music at the church Cassie had grown up in and was her main source of encouragement for anything musical or personal in her life, so far. Music had defined Cassie’s life for years, but music’s definition was about to change radically.
Saturday was going to be a tough day. As Cassie began running through the conversations with Gary’s son, Joel, her best friend, she recalled Joel explaining earlier in the week that Gary was in and out of the hospital because of an infection from his gastric bypass surgery. Did the infection kill Gary? Was it really that bad? If it was, why didn’t Joel tell her that it was life threatening? She immediately checked her phone for any news from Joel. All she found was a text from the previous night telling her to pray for Gary because he had returned to the hospital. Before even fully waking Cassie called Joel to make sure he was home, but found him silent on the other line on his way home from college with another friend, Brad, driving him. It was all so sudden Cassie felt numb to the fact that her hero had just passed away. She was only worried about her dear friend Joel and his family, hoping that in some odd way they were at least okay. Soon after calling Joel, Cassie and her mom began calling good friends of Gary and his family in order to inform them of his passing. Still, Cassie worried about Joel constantly. Her best friend, her other half, had just lost his father. All she could do was ache for him and let her best friend grieve alone, even though that broke her each time she thought of losing her other half and his dad all in one moment. That day passed slowly, more so than any other day of her life.
The following day Cassie woke up to an early alarm clock because she had been asked to sing in the praise band at church. Cassie had started praise band at the age of 13 after Gary and Joel had repetitively nagged her about joining. Once a month Cassie would sing in the praise band with her timid voice, but Gary and his family were always there to encourage her to keep singing. Through the years Gary had chosen songs for Cassie to lead and solo in, the day after his passing one of the songs he had chosen for her was the first song in the bulletin. She shattered with the realization that this song, that had meant so little to her was chosen for her, by her hero and now he was gone. She had to sing it for him, but to God at the same time. As the congregation filed into the sanctuary Cassie became nervous and heartbroken. It was the saddest day that her church had ever seen since Cassie had been born. She stood on stage, trying so hard to hold back the tears as she lead in Prince of Peace, a song Gary had originally chosen for Joel and Cassie to sing together. As the music began to play, the vocalists entered with wavering strength. Cassie belted out the lyrics like never before, she became strong in God and voice at the same moment although after it was done she could not recall a single phrase she sang. All she knew was that God became her voice that day and from then on, something had altered her view on worship.
The week following Gary’s death wasn’t only hard for Cassie because she was grieving, but she had choir class everyday and each day she struggled with the same reality that Gary wasn’t there to encourage her to sing. Although Gary was not involved in the school district, he was the main reason she had focused on vocal music. His niece, Ginger Driskell was Cassie’s vocal instructor throughout middle school. Cassie was now a senior in high school, with choral districts the next weekend. During choir class on any normal day you’d find Cassie leading a sectional rehearsal or helping out the director, but after Gary’s death she was rarely in the classroom. Cassie began to struggle with singing in choir because it would remind her of Gary. The next week she left the classroom in tears multiple times. With districts approaching it was time to buckle down for the biggest competition, perfect each measure and spend countless hours practicing pitch and tone quality. A busy schedule, anxiety, and grief lead Cassie in a downward spiral. This was supposed to be her year to shine, but most of her choir classes she spent sitting in the hallway just trying to keep herself composed. The director, Dr. Patch, tried to understand but since Cassie wouldn’t talk about why she’d leave the classroom in tears he simply couldn’t. So without notice, he pulled her from the small ensemble she was involved in so that she could focus on pulling herself together and managing the four concert choir pieces.
The weekend approached and nerves kicked into high gear for the entire choir, most of the members were concerned that Cassie would not know all of her parts and would let down her section, but she had succeeded to memorize each song by Saturday, the day of the competition. Surrounding choirs had been practicing since the return from winter break for districts. It was important for Cassie to be at the top of her game. A few weeks prior to competing Gary had told Cassie he would be there to watch her perform. Ironically enough, Saturday was also the day of Gary’s memorial service at Maywood. Luckily Cassie performed an hour before it started, but that would mean she would be slightly late to the service. So she sang, with everything she had, hit every single note, rushed through the gym to gather her belongings and changed into a suitable outfit for the service. Her father was waiting for her in his car right outside the concert hall entrance in a fire zone, so she ran as fast as she could to get to him. She arrived at the service ten minutes late and found the church filled with people, all of which were crying heavily. Since there were no groups of seats together she let her dad sit by her mom while she carefully sneaked into the very back row to sit with her good friend Sam. Sam was one of those tough boys, but that day they were both in tears throughout the entire service. After the service concluded Cassie felt more at peace than she had in days.
Although Gary had taught her the importance of worship for God and pitch accuracy for choir, she never realized the different between the two. The most important knowledge Gary could pass on to her was that singing for a competition and singing for God were two totally opposite things. Competition was about hitting the notes accurately while putting on a good face for an audience. Worship was about God, everything was for Him and to Him. God doesn’t care how well you sing or how many pitches you miss, it’s about giving Him everything possible in order to show your obedience. Preparing oneself for a life lesson like that is near impossible, but having your own heart prepared through experiences and certain people in your life is exactly what God intended for Cassie in that situation. Even though she lost her hero, she gained a new view on worship and ultimately a stronger faith.