Recently

Recently I find myself up late at night.
It's neither lack of sleep, nor a reason to stay awake.
Remembering the past, realizing it is not my future.
I was exactly where I wanted to be, obviously that's not what God had in store for me.
People in my life have definitely changed since graduation, which was expected.
Some friendships I expected to remain the same, at least, have withered away into a facade.
Disappointing, to say the least.
Some of the best of friends, turned out to be just around while they wanted.
If that's not what I am to be, then I will try my hardest to remain happy.
Even though I see them at a distance perfectly happy, I cannot remain happy for them.
Sorry if it's selfish, but it is exactly where I am.
So for now, call me selfish and stubborn.
I do not know what else to be, but I will discover it, eventually.