Post 101

This is number 101 for me. I had no idea that I was anywhere close to 100, but sure enough. Here I am at 101 and I'm just as confused about my future as my first post.

In my very first post I ranted about an argument in my government class. I was a senior in high school, 18, and most of all ignorant to the fantasy I lived in.
In the second post I raved about the change in my life: the people surrounding me, the way I looked at life, my plans for the future. It's been almost 3 years and 8 months later and my life is completely different. I never imagined what my life would really look like at 21. I never thought about the real future. I never dreamed about reality.

Reality was: I was 18. I was naive. I was extremely judgmental. I dreamed of my wedding, not the marriage. I dreamed of the perfect college resume and all the fun that came with it. I lied to myself about everything. I had no real faith. I was broken.

Reality is: I am 21. I'm still a bit naive, but I'm working on it. I realize that judging others never changes anyone for the better. I dream of marriage. I dream about putting someone else before me, following someone else, and not having to go it alone. I still dream of the wedding (mostly because I will end 2011 with 15 weddings in the past 12 months). I don't see the value in college for my future. I made life-long friends while I was there, but college served it's purpose and I consider it a phase that is complete even without my bachelors degree. I let my heart break constantly because of truth. I refuse to settle for anything less than exactly whatever it is God has lined out for me. I have faith and I struggle with it daily.


So here's to the future. May my eyes continue to be open and my heart to heal. Let's go.