Swift Change

there has been a recent swift change in my life. the things i do, the people in it, and the way i live it have all changed, quickly. I've realized that the people you surround yourself with really do form the outcome of your daily routine. therefore, i have changed my friends, without realizing the change, it simply happened. not all of my friends have changed, but i have definitely chosen to surround myself with people who are honest with me, no matter what the cost. i have three people i know i can go to with anything and everything i am, they will take it, and manage, without complaint, or attempting to shove advice down my throat. i have disconnected myself from those who i know only decieve me to get what they want. i have withdrawled from friendships that are one way, where i am the only one even trying. i cannot put myself through that hell of being the only one to actually care anymore, especially when reality is going to kick me in the butt any day now. i have maegan, who is a girl i can go to just to chill, to relax, to be me, without her i'd be way up tight and i would have no true friend in independence. i have max, who is such an amazing person through and through. he lives far away so i don't get to talk with him as much as i'd like to. he is very busy, which i completely understand, because i am to at times. and then there's joel. my rock when everything and everyone falls, he never leaves for some odd reason he puts up with my worst attitudes and literally turns bad days good with ease and his insane self. i've spent most of my time with joel and maegan, and they are shaping me, into a person i want to be. a less pessimistic attitude toward life, less of a cold bitter heart. im starting to trust people again because of these three amazing people. i owe so much to all of them. i can honestly say, for once in my life, i do not feel like the convieniant friend to anyone. they don't put me down, or pull me apart. they don't give me advice they know i won't listen to and they know my boundries. without these three random friends i would not have made it through christmas break or the few weeks after. i'm so ready, to be done with people that don't care. if you dont like me, it really isny my problem, or my fault. i'm done blaming myself for things i have no control over. i'm tired of having a crappy self esteem and nothing thinking higher than dirt of myself. i'm ready for this, for a better, happier life.

im not saying that my other friends mean nothing, these are three people who are changing my life now. right now. i have amazing friends from camp that made this past summer one of the best in my life. but i don't see them, or talk to them really until summer begins, and we say our goodbyes in august. i also have some amazing school friends, who keep me going through the long and boring school day.

all i have, is all i need.