Ya know, most of the time being single with a bunch of married friends is fun. I get to watch people I love be absolutely head over heels in love. I get to watch them grow, and grow up. I get to see them become beautiful people. I have the most awesome opportunity to witness beautiful things happen in their lives. Being the third wheel at dinner is fun, even if at times it's awkward. Most of all I like that I get to watch my dear friends be happy and learn along the way.
Being single amongst married couples is terrifying too. It feels like I'm constantly being set up, even if dates never happen. Everyone knows the "One" for me apparently. That is exceedingly annoying, even though I know they are just trying to help me open my eyes to "all the fish in the sea." I'm also not a big fan of going places alone. I'm getting used to it, I suppose. I still don't care to eat dinner alone in a restaurant or travel alone to the millions of weddings I am invited to.
It's funny, I've always been independent. I've never felt like I needed someone.
Sure, I am surrounded by wonderful people and I would be extremely sad if they left my life... but people leave for a reason and there are thousands, millions of genuinely wonderful people in the world. I talk about my friends constantly, how blessed I am. I try to thank them all as often as I can for being a part of my life. Still, being alone is starting to wear on me. My skin is tough and I'm pretty guarded, but I'd like to think that if something came along I'd see it.
I'm young. My friends are young. I'm happy most days just like all of them.
But, I am alone too often for my own liking.
Tonight, I will take a drive in this beautiful weather and clear my head a bit. I'll sing loud, and enjoy the silence singing back to me. Then I will come home, open The Word, and breathe.
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