So lately I've been avoiding blogging... I have my reasons, and you'll figure it out by the end of this blog.
I am all over the place in every single way imaginable.
1. Last weekend was pure chaos. I had no idea what was going on, ever. I'm still frustrated by it a week later... and I have no idea what it is stressing me out so much.
2. This past week was finals for college, and I definitely put off studying until the last possible moment. (bad idea)
3. One of my dearest friends leaves for the Navy this week, and that alone is messing my head more than I ever thought it would. I am so excited and proud... but at the same time struggling with abandonment and how to say goodbye.
4. I have this song that I've been trying to write lyrics to for WEEKS... and I am absolutely stuck.
5. I haven't opened my Bible in over a week, and my spiritual life is definitely showing it.
6. My baby sister graduates from High School NEXT WEEKEND! So I have my fair share of sisterly duties and chores in order to make this next week the MOST memorable week of her life. It comes with grad parties, present wrapping, dishes, helping out with decorations for her upcoming party, and spending a lot of "quality" time with my extended family. (All of which is extremely stressful)
7. I am totally stressing out about finishing my assoc. It is taking me so long, and I want to quit so bad.
8. I've had my fair share of crappy feeling days. In fact, I was sick today for most of the day.
9. Trying to want to find another church is hard. I am so confident in my decision to leave Maywood, but so confused by what a church should really look like and what I need to grow (It would probably help if I had read my bible this past week)
10. My friendships are taking on new dynamics as I grow older. Growing apart from some is inevitable, but it is extremely hard for me. I care a lot for the people I choose to be around. I make a huge effort to have quality time with the ones I love, and when it's not reciprocated it breaks my heart. I miss people often, and this last week it has been very evident.
Told you, I'm all over the place.
I don't even know how to start dealing with any of this.
I am overwhelmed and a little broken.
Dear readers, if I even have any... please keep my heart in your prayers. I am really struggling.
4 comments:
You are so beautiful. Even in your brokeness, you are beautiful. ESPECIALLY in your brokenness, to be more accurate.
I need more of you in my life. Your honesty and your desire for growth, and your laughter, and that precious heart of yours. I have graduation on Thursday night, but the rest of my week is free. Call me if you have any free time between all the chaos. Coffee and a long talk wig a friend always make the bad seem better and the good seem amazing.
I love you. Big.
wow! I've been there & at the exact same time during my college years too.
although i'm sad to see you go i do understand the need to get moving & growing in your walk with the Lord.
we all have to "go out into the wilderness" and just let our faith grow & stretch. i will definitely keep you in my prayers during this season of transition you're in. stay in the Word no matter what happens or where you go.
God Bless you,
Angielina
Love You and Miss seeing You! I will Pray for God's Direction in your Life. Hang in there and know that you are loved.
hey friend! praying for you today! <3 jc
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