Coming Back

If you know me in the slightest, you know how good it was for me to leave Bolivar. Every time I enter city limits I am thankful I moved away.
This visit was unlike the rest in that this was the first time my heart didn't race. I get anxious, easily. This time I didn't and it was a nice change of pace. Sometimes I go back to KC feeling guilty that I left. Like I disappointed my family and friends by choosing a different path. Not this time. I am absolutely confident in my decision, and it's been a long time coming. I don't feel like I threw away my future by choosing to end my formal education. I would not change the last two years of my life for anything.
College is not for everyone. I am so proud of my friends that graduate in May. Lucky them, their paths will be more clearly accepted in the world regardless of our generations reckless ambition. Mine is weird. Music is an odd choice. There is no clearly defined path, few achieve earthy success. And I am absolutely ok with everything.
I know Christ is working. I am uncomfortable.
The only future I can see is unsure. I do not want to be typical. I strive for Christ's purpose and for His direction in my life to be evident. I seek to be unique in that no matter how I use my voice (whether in the Christian world of music or in a secular fashion) that He still shines through my choices and the way my life is displayed. I realize this is a strange concept. To life a life that is obvious to any unbeliever as different To be the one people ask "why do you live this" to. I feel like that is my purpose. For my life and the choices I make to be evidently faith based.

If that is all I do in life I will consider my life a great success. I am happy when I live simply. I am happy when I travel and move around and grow with the people I love. I am happy when I have the opportunity to meet wonderfully unique people. Life is good. God is good.


So today, I will continue to enjoy my time in Bolivar. I will enjoy the stupid football game with whoever I end up watching it with. And it will be good until I leave tomorrow afternoon. It will be so good.