It's been a rough fall to say the least.
Living away from home has been harder than I imagined and also insanely more rewarding.
First, Stella (my car) decided that she absolutely hated it here and wanted to die. Sounds dramatic? Well, she had been giving me trouble for awhile and the day came when she just stopped. I was on the side of the road, alone, and on my way to work from the grocery store. According to the mechanic it was a cocktail of errors that caused her to come to a complete halt. Her serpentine belt snapped and the alternator died. I called my dad right away, and I just lost it. I snapped. I felt like I had absolutely no one to call and was a million miles away from anyone I could depend on. My dad walked me through it step by step.
1. Call the tow guy who helped me out a couple weeks prior when she died in the whole foods parking lost.
2. Call the garage and let them know she's on the way in
3. Call for a ride to work
4. Go to work
5. Relax
Seems simple, but the whole relax bit does not come easy to a high stress, uptight, control freak like myself. I kept losing it all day: when customers would ask about my day, when I had to call a friend for a ride home from work, when I realized I had to fly home in two days instead of driving, when I got home from work and saw that the groceries I bought were exactly what I didn't want to eat, when my bestfriend texted to check in randomly, when I looked at my impossibly full schedule and realized I had no way to get ANYWHERE, and finally when I broke down and called both my parents. I just lost it. I don't lose it often, and I just could not regain my composure. I ended up crying myself to sleep and woke up with swollen eyes and a whole new set of transportation issues. So, we fixed her up the best we could, but soon (crossing fingers) she will be replaced.
Second, I began the hunt for a new job. Financially, I was making ends meet, but I had nothing leftover to be generous with or spend on going anywhere outside of the grocery store and work. It was becoming pretty evident that the whole car issue could no longer be pushed aside and I needed to really start plugging away at savings and my student loans. So, I started hunting. Dallas is huge, and the metro is nearly six times KC so the supply so jobs seemed unlimited. I started praying that God would lead me into the right job, to be able to provide for myself and maintain a lifestyle that would make it possible to do the thing I moved here to do (to grow and do more with music). I woke up with an unimaginable peace about the entire situation after a few days of searching. I talked to the owner of the coffee shop the following week, and ba-da bing I got promoted to manager. (There were about a million conversations and hiccups in between, but everything just started to fall into place). I love my job at Saxbys. I love everything about working in a coffee shop. The job allows me to do the things I love: meet and serve people from all walks of life, work with friends, and travel to spend time with the ones I love. I've had the opportunity to attend several out of town weddings, sing regularly at the drop of a hat, and enjoy making new friends. Recently, I've had the opportunity to see new cities (Palestine and Austin) and explore new parts of Texas.
Lastly, this fall has pushed me into dealing with issues that have been shelved for quite some time. The Lord is constantly pushing me into the hard places and forcing me to grow. It's been terribly draining, but ultimately it has been exactly what I have needed. I have been introduced to people that I know I will be friends with for the remainder of my life.
Everything and nothing has changed.
I'm still working at Saxbys.
I still live with married people (which is weird).
I'm still single. (Little to no complaints about that.. )
I still have student loans and bills and grow up things thrown at me.
But, there is forward motion, and that makes it a little bit easier to get up out of bed in the morning.
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