So, today, I'll do my best to remedy that.
I have been avoiding my blog for a long time. Most days I convince myself that nothing really looks very different, and on the others I find myself making up excuses to avoid the fact that I live so far away from so many people and places that I love. Never, in my life, have I ever felt homesick.
Now, I have to revise that statement.
I am homesick.
Not the type where I want to pack up and go home at this very instance, but definitely in a tangible way. I actually miss Kansas City. I miss Redeemer, the Plaza, Westport, Ponak's, & obviously the Flying Saucer. It's hard to believe I'm missing SantaCaliGon Days this year. Obviously, I miss my best friends. I miss that my life could be compartmentalized by the job I was working, the circles of friends I was with, and even the suburb I decided to be in for the day. I miss having options on where to be for the weekend or who to spend it with. I miss my bubble.
I still love Texas.
I know it's where I need to be right now. I need to grow, here, on my own. I need to know how to develop new circles and reach out. Most of all, I need to learn how to let people reach out towards me. It's good for me to be here, it's best. I know this because I'm constantly being pushed, even beat, into what I want to become. It's the hard way, but it's going to be worth it. I believe that with my whole heart.
I get to live out dreams here. I get to grow.
Someday, I just work a measly five hour shift as a barista. I spill milk and I still absolutely suck at making cappuccinos. Other days, I manage to work the same shift after a morning full of errand running and then somehow end up singing on a patio stage with some of the most fantastic musicians I've ever come across. I get to hangout with solid new friends and enjoy a new brew. I get to live a life that I've always imagined on those days. They make all the rainy Mondays worth it. Those days make going to Ikea and lunch alone completely worth it.
New things, big decisions are constantly being thrown in my direction.
Being challenged to become the best me is worth the struggle and frustration.
Being challenged to become the best me is worth the struggle and frustration.
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